Chapter 1: It Starts With Attitude
by Brian Norris
One of the most important ingredients to succeeding, both personally and professionally, is living and actualizing a proactive attitude. And, not just any attitude, I'm talking about a positive, can-do attitude that demonstrates the ability to move beyond our personal dysfunctions and get the job done.
Your success and sanity demand a high-frequency attitude that translates into every behavior and action you take. A high-frequency attitude disinfects people, places and processes that have become dangerous to the task of producing innovation, market growth and profitability.
I can train someone to perform a task like overcoming objections or setting up a direct mail campaign or how to answer a telephone or enter data into a software program.
But, if the person or client I'm working with already believes that those actions will:
- fail to produce results
- or that the business is doomed to begin with
- or that the buyer will balk at the price of the services being offered,
it's pointless to begin.
You can choose either heaven on earth, or hell on earth. It's your choice. And, either way, you're right. If you live life expecting the people you encounter to be good, and believing that your day and your actions will turn out for the best, you're (usually) right.
Conversely, if you live as though things, people, events and societies are miserable, you're (usually) right, too.
Many people choose to wrap their dysfunctions around them and to moan and complain their way through life. They choose to live in past failures and future visions of apocalypse. They choose to invest their energies explaining why other people's ideas will never work. They are professional vampires.
You've probably heard the saying “Misery loves company.” How often do you encounter people (most notably the professional vampires) who love to bring you into their own personal hell at every encounter? They just love to suck you down. The attempted “suck down” usually occurs first thing in the morning.
The swift ascent into their misery generally begins with an innocuous “How are you?” You see a person approaching you. Out of professionalism you greet them with a simple, “Hey, how are you doing?” And the responses?
- “Uh, do you really want to know?”
- “Actually, I'm miserable.”
- “The new guy in marketing is just awful, just like the last six replacements.”
- “I had to sleep on the couch again last night...”
- “I drank too much and have the worst headache...”
- “Pull up a chair and let me tell you how awful my life is.”
While empathy has its place, and we should be sensitive to the genuine problems others endure, I can't agree with incessant dumping (especially in the workplace).
When I hear people offer up lame excuses justifying their misery or their inability to be fully functional, I can't help to think, “Well, that's your personal crisis, not our's. Please don't bring this organization, our team, our buyers or me down, or expect others to have to compensate for your lackluster performance.
Ironically, people often cause their own “bad day” directly through their own lack of discipline, lack of communication skills or inability to deal with life.
When enough people start unloading their misery on to you, you condition yourself not to ask. Even worse, you're tempted to avoid interacting with certain people completely.
You might be guilty of a low-frequency attitude too. When people ask you how you are, what kind of answers do you give or get?
How about, “Fine”? One of the most frequent responses I get is a 1-word answer. Fineandyou? It's all one word, Fineandyou? Or even more often, the response is a lifeless, gray “Fiiiiiiiiiiiinnne” Talk about motivating. I operate on the premise that the word fine is actually an acronym for:
Fearfully
Insecure
Neurotic
Emotional
Since adopting that acronym, I've attempted to removed "fine" from my vocabulary. Equally low-frequency responses include:
- “I showed up, didn't I?”
- “I'm here.”
- “I'm present, (physically, anyway).”
Based on the part of the country I'm speaking in, I can always determine how successful certain regional, local, or even national marketers have been in achieving top-of-mind awareness. It's the “I haven't had my “ responses.
- “I haven't had my Mountain Dew yet.”
- “I haven't had my Diet Pepsi yet.”
- “I haven't had my Red Bull yet.”
- “Haven't had my Dunkin' Donuts yet.”
- “Haven't had my Krispy Kreme yet.”
- “Haven't had my Starbucks yet.”
- “Haven't had my cigarette break yet.”
Do you really need an external stimulant to start your day? Why should you need an excuse to be positive or to invest 100% into what you're doing? Every day above ground is a good day, so stop complaining!
We're all dysfunctional anyways...
Just about everyone is at least a little dysfunctional. If you don't agree then review the following list, my special Dysfunctions List. Put a check next to all that apply:
What are your dysfunctions?
- I need to be liked/loved/lust for
- I need to be wanted
- I need to be respected (even when you haven't earned it)
- I need to be right (even when you're not)
- I need to have the last word (even years after the conversation has ended)
- I need to be in control at all times
- I need to dwell on the past
- I need to be in the spotlight (at any cost)
- I am a Workaholic I am a Perfectionist
- I have low self-esteem
- I have too much self-esteem
- I am Obsessive Compulsive (eating, drinking, fitness, sports, gambling, sex, shopping, apologizing, work projects)
- I am F.I.N.E. (Fearfully Insecure Neurotic Emotional)
How did you do? Are you willing to agree that everyone, including yourself is a little (or even a lot) dysfunctional?
That said, we cannot allow our personal dysfunctions to impact our professionalism or how we treat others in the workplace. Our personal problems or animosities have no valid place while working or interacting with others.
By the way, I define selling this way...
“Selling is the process of helping people to temporarily escape their myriad dysfunctions, and to create a cathartic release through the process of learning about and ultimately acquiring your products, services or goods.”
With that in mind, revisit the Dysfunctions List often to use in your sales and marketing!
But why all the talk about attitudes?
A high-frequency attitude combats the legalized negativity around us. If you're going to expect others to escape the habit of being fine, you have to model your expectation through your own words and actions.
That's why, when a person asks me how I am (and I suspect they're actually conscious), the response is clear. I smile, maintain eye contact and say in a non-dramatic tone, “I'm positively passionate. How are you?”
I use this response (and others similar to it) consistently to set a clear expectation of the caliber of relationship I want to have with the people around me (even if that connection is just a few seconds long). The unspoken expectation is threefold.
1. I want to escape the realm of mediocrity and complacency, to a place where being just okay, or fine, or “I showed up” are unacceptable frames of mind.
2. I want to let them know in the fewest words possible that I am positive about making a difference and exploiting the continued opportunity to do what I love.
3. I am passionate about the life that I live, and I am going to give 100% to you, no matter what happens in my personal life, regardless of the challenges and obstacles. Positively Passionate. The show must go on.
You'll get a few strange looks or frazzled responses. But, the majority of the people — intelligent people, smart people, like you — can appreciate it.
They look at me and tilt their heads to the side. Their eyes start to sparkle and a smile forms. “Positively Passionate?” “That's cool... me, too.” It sets the tone and moves the quality of the interaction to a higher level.
If you're alive, and have the use of your faculties, or you're breathing on your own volition, then you are amongst the blessed.
Instead of standing still, dreading the task at hand, embrace the moment as an opportunity to shine through your words and actions.
Don't bring somebody down just because the worst thing that you have to complain about is that you're Facebook updates are loading too slow. Or, that the barista at Starbucks messed up your latte. Or that you seemed to get every red light on the way to work.
The human experience is filled with difficulties. In the big scope of things, do these minor inconveniences really matter?
Here's my challenge to you, for the next 30 days, use “Positively Passionate” as your response to others when they ask you how you are.
Say the response right now aloud just to get used to the words rolling off your tongue. Smile. Imagine looking into the eyes of the other person or people in the conversation. Say the words honestly and non-dramatically. Positively Passionate.
To stay within the Positively Passionate mindset, review the following statements often:
1. I've experienced too much in my life to take what I have, for granted.
2. I want to use my gifts and talents to their fullest.
3. I want to be present in every moment.
4. I want to live richly and maximize the opportunities I have right now to make a difference through what I do and how I interact with the people I meet.
5. While I have a right to enjoy food and drink, I don't need external stimulus to make me positive, treat others with dignity and respect, or to give me the strength to do my job well.
6. I refuse to let my personal problems infect others. There is a time and a place to break down or withdraw from the world. Work is not one of those places.
When you're comfortable with the whole philosophy behind Positively Passionate, dare to experiment with your own responses. Be creative.
What words will capture your state of mind? Freakin' Fantastic. Absolutely Amazing. Mystically Marvelous, Magically Delicious. Fabulous.
What words capture your own definition of a high-frequency attitude? Have fun with it and live life with high expectations.
This is an excerpt from The Creative Sales & Marketing Manual available at http://www.BrianNorris.com/book/marketingmanual.html written by Brian Norris.
Brian Norris is a professional speaker, occasional consultant and author. You can reach Brian by emailing info@BrianNorris.com or calling 414-688-8252.
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