Life Sucks Syndrome Part 3 of 5
By Brian Norris, ©2006, 2007
414-899-1905, info@BrianNorris.com
( Part 1) - (Part 2) - (Part 4) - (Part 5)
Are Excuses Like "Lack of Money" or "Impossible Situations" Valid Reasons to Think Life Sucks?
On July 23, 2006, "JC" wrote to me regarding my ideas and comments about why life sucks and what we can do about. He wrote:
"Life does not suck because "we" let it suck for ourselves...it sucks because of the surroundings and the "impossible" situations we are put into...things beyond our control...it boils down to money...always has always will...people who say "money isn't everything"...already have enough of it."
JC
JC makes some points that at first blush makes sense. But are they really valid?
Is money the sole link between a fulfilling life and a miserable one? Are we put into impossible situations or do we put ourselves in tough situations? Is any situation truly impossible? Does calling a situation "impossible" give us permission to give up and switch into life sucks mode?
Here's my response.
Hey JC,
Thanks for writing.
I certainly agree that having money helps. Still not having money is hardly an excuse to be miserable. Instead, if lack of money is the reason someone is depressed, they should see it as an opportunity to be innovative.
For example, how many immigrants come to this country (legally and illegally) with little more than the shirts on their backs? Still, years later you won't find most of them on welfare, or hooked on drugs, or standing on the corner with a "feed me" sign.
Instead, many of them work and save, then work and save some more to escape the shackles of poverty. Many of them own businesses, they invest in the market, they send their children to college.
Could it be that what's missing from people with "no money" is a strong work ethic? Is it possible that too many people believe that they should be spoon-fed and given success without earning it?
A popular story from the bible says that the meek will inherit the earth. I think that a truer statement is that the ants will inherit the earth. Unless you poison an ant colony or kill every ant in that colony, they always work. They always rebuild. They don't sit around waiting for a break in the weather or expect another ant colony to give them a hand. This is the same ethic we must have to be successful.
As for impossible situations, what do you mean? Many of the immigrants I mentioned above didn't even have the fortune to speak the language, but they often learn it.
How many addicts have broken free of their weaknesses? How many people now caught in the cross fire of the Iraq's Civil War, or Israeli/Lebanese Conflict will find a way to resume some semblance of a normal life?
I will not judge because all situations are unique, but the question any one has to ask is, "What will it take to lift myself from this sadness, oppression and misery?"
If the problem is something else, then divorce yourself from the source of the things that bring you down. Break your addictions to the things that drain your income and steal your joy.
Separate from the people who want you to be miserable or want you to believe that you're trapped in your current economic or mental or spiritual crisis.
It boils down to passion, focus and perseverance. It helps to have someone or something to believe in too. Believe in yourself -- the world is an impossible place to live for the self-proclaimed loser. Believe in your family or group of friends who are like family. Believe in a creator that will make it possible to reach your goals if you do your part.
I know that making money is huge. Living in most societies requires constant infusions of money to pay the bills, eat and to enjoy the physical options life presents. The need to produce income will always be there. I've always found a way -- and so can you.
Even without advanced degrees or access to a huge bank account, I've stood by my commitments and honored my decisions. That's what really matters. I'll do what I have to to be sure the bills are paid and that I can stay positive for the people who matter to me.
Five suggestions to keep money from making your life suck:
1. Do your current job to the fullest of your abilities. In the meantime, keep your eye on the goal of getting another job or promotion that grants access to more money and more career options.
2. Save every dime you can to pay down your debt and invest in things that make you money (not cars, not clothes, not beer, not lottery tickets, not expensive dinners, not fancy coffee drinks). I'd pay for a book that give me skills or attend a training that makes me better any day before wasting my money on things that suck my wallet dry. I strongly recommend Money Mastery to help you eliminate your debts and retire early. You can also spend time at the library or even better, Barnes & Noble. Zero cost for a quality education.
3. Also, consider a career in sales -- You'd be amazed what kind of motivation you have in a position where your income is limited only by your drive and sales ability. Pick a product that costs lots of money. It takes as much effort selling a $100 item as it does a $100,000 item. The upside? The commission on the $100,000 item is much higher and therefore a better use of your time.
4. Don't put too much stock in physical possessions anyway. They'll rust, be stolen and let you down. Instead, invest in yourself, your family and your community.
5. Become an under consumer. Last year's model isn't bad, especially if it's been paid for. Make a deal with friends and family to have set limits on what people spend for holidays, birthdays and other special events. Pool resources by sharing the costs of travel, technology and utilities. Offer to trade for services with your expertise rather than money. The worst they can say is no.
Always keep in mind that "The Impossible Situation" is a dangerous myth. Few things are impossible if we dare to be innovative and follow through instead of give up at the first setback. Besides, how can life suck when you know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing?
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Have these articles on Life Sucks Syndrome been helpful? Let me know! Do you have a question of your own that you would like me address? I'll do my best to offer you some suggestions and listen to you. You're are an amazing person and deserve to be free from a "life sucks" mentality. You are capable of so much, helping others and yourself in the process. Don't listen to anyone who tells you differently.
If you really found them helpful recommend me to friends and loved ones. I offer coaching and present onsite training. I'm available for training, keynotes and coaching. The best way to contact me initially is via email info@briannorris.com.
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