Life Sucks Syndrome PART 5
Brian vs. The Angry Musician
Does Life Suck or Not? The Conversation Continues

Based on actual conversations ©2008
414-899-1905, info@BrianNorris.com

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4

Does life suck? How can I insist that life is not inherently evil? Mark Harris (not his real name) wrote me recently and began ridiculing my positions, insisting that life does suck and that he was right while I was wrong.

Here for your enjoyment is the conversation. Mark's comments are in red text. My responses are in black.

Mr. Norris, life DOES indeed suck. Our government is unsympathetic and counter productive to helping its citizens. You are all alone and no cares about anyone but themselves.Your health is forever failing; it is inevitable you will become deathly ill. We have no control over anything.

I agree Mark, in those absolute most essential moments, you are utterly alone. No one can keep your family fed or protect your property or keep you from drowning but you. Not the government. Not the local sheriff's office. It's your responsibility to do what is necessary to be prepared for the unexpected. What are you doing to improve your financial situation and to protect the people you love daily?

And yes, death is inevitable. We begin our march towards death the moment we're conceived. Because we can't predict the day or hour of our death, we can only choose to live in the present, being fully aware and making choices that allow us to see the randomness of life as a blessing rather than a curse.

As far as control, we have little control of most of what happen to us. Life has more to do with how we deal with crisis than what the crisis is. You control your response and your perspective. Everything else is chaos. Deal with it!

You convince people that if they just work hard and try to reach their goals with a sense of humility, it will happen, they have controlled their lives.

Let's see. In my article (http://www.briannorris.com/articles/howtogetwhatyouwant.html) I write…

“Ask for the job, the meeting, the phone number, the kiss, the date, whatever. The worst that can happen in any situation is to be met with a "No" or "Not right now."

But if you don't ask or do nothing to capitalize on your circumstances you don't get. I expect a yes, and if I've learned as much as I can and taken actions to create the ideal conditions, I generally get the yes (and much more).”

What's wrong with expecting results based on specific actions? And, yes no one is so invaluable that they can't be replaced. What's your point? These are all things I talked about on the site.

And do you recall the first few paragraphs (http://www.briannorris.com/articles/lifesucks.html)

“In my short time on this planet, my experience and research has taught me to attempt to step back and see the bigger picture. In the big picture, this moment is a tiny dot on the timeline of my life. I'll get through it. Even when it seems like life is ripping the skin off of me and that I've reached the absolute bottom of human misery. I'll get through because opting out is not an option.

Asking "Why?" something happened is a recipe for frustration and anger. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things happen to good people. Life is hardly fair or just or balanced. Victories go to the most ambitious, most creative and most thick skinned. Justice and fairness and mercy are romantic concepts but hardly applicable to the reality of life.”

Did you even read it, or did you scan one or two lines and just spouting off rants?

Go back and read it, then talk to me. http://www.briannorris.com/positivityzone.html includes the link to all four articles - Parts 1, 2, 3 and 4.

Do you actually think that simply "Asking the universe for what you want with a spirit of humility and expectation" will bring success/happiness?

Yes, I do. I always get what I really want, as long as I'm prepared to do what's necessary to have it. And when I get too cocky or take it for granted, I risk losing it or making a mistake that proves costly.

The only thing you can rely on in life is yourself. I am sure you would agree with this BUT you seem to think the world is a good and just place, so all you need is a positive attitude and all else will follow.

No, I contend that the universe helps those who help themselves and that faith (belief) without works (getting off your butt and taking action) is meaningless. Success takes work. The world is full of good people. They outnumber the legitimately rotten, "evil" people.

Despite the sadness and inequalities in life, each of us has the power to influence our immediate reality. How I treat others. What I do to improve myself. The levels at which I pour myself into loving my wife, nurturing our relationship, the effort I take in accentuating the good. I can dictate this reality to an amazing degree of accuracy.

I like my reality. It brings me meaning and keeps me from the potential depression that dwells within many of us. Besides, Einstein said that you can't solve problems at the same level they were created. Misery and misfortune does little to rid the world of misery and misfortune.

You're welcome to live in your world, it seems like a sad place- but hey it's your world - and obviously it gives you a frame of reference.

I would not say my life is "sad", but it is very anger-filled. Anger is a great motivator though. It's helped me make music and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe if others were as angry as I was we could change this world and all the bad bad things in it. Happiness seduces people to be content with abuse or mediocrity. Anger changes things.

You seem to be to be the kind of person who has the ability to help others. Why do you insist on helping people accept denial of how awful life is?

You seem to be the kind of person who has been angry for so long that you no longer see how it controls you. You're a puppet to misery. What is sickening are people who project their internal misery onto the people, places and events around them.

Let me guess, you believe that wealthy people are evil and only poor people are virtuous? That lazy people should be handed everything?

I am not saying life should hand everything to you with no hard work. But I've seen SO MANY PEOPLE that work VERY VERY VERY hard and get nowhere. That's the American lie... I mean "dream" - work hard, success will follow. Total BS.

What's wrong with telling people to be accountable and to stop expecting hand outs or hand ups? Are you saying that people should not be expected to work? By the way, how do you specifically make a living? As a professional musician do you charge for your services? Or are you able to give your expertise away without compensation?

What do I do for a living? I am 23 and I am a professional musician. I do charge for my "services" and i would not consider myself a "struggling" musician either. I have toured the USA a few times and I have no other job. I'd say that's pretty far from struggling.

Since you are successful, why don't you donate the money you earn to poor people? Is that a solution? Are you helping troubled teens learn to make a living as a musician? Are your lyrics designed to call attention to the injustices you write about in our conversations? Are you using your anger to run for office or mobilize people to vote for a cause? What are you doing other than pointing out the obvious problems with the world?

Best way to be happy is to move as far far far away from humanity as you can and drink yourself stupid, then blow your brains out. That is the only thing we have true control over, if we live or die. Life sucks, we have no control, and you know it.

Shall I cue the violins?

I bet the bartenders love you. Yeah, drinking and guns -- how insightful.... Go write a country song or something. Killing yourself is really weak and low level. Even Darwin would wince at that one. You really crack me up.

Why do you ignore the fact that we control our response to the "shit" life throws at us? Maybe you need to turn off the computer and walk outside to get some fresh air.

Actually bar tenders don't like me, because I don't go to bars to drink (usually to play a show). I see your kinda pointing out i might be a drunk. Cute, but not true. I don't prefer the sauce. I have other drugs of choice.

The reason I included the bit about "booze and guns" was to see if i can get you to realize most people stance on life - hopelessness. Sure, on the everyday level life is actually quite nice. But when looking at the big picture of the history of this world it's not as pretty.

We stand on the edge of an apocalyptic war, with a terrible economic outlook. Suffering is rampant and we can't do a damn thing about it. So don't tell me the "big picture" is worth thinking about, it's too sad. Simply taking a positive attitude will not make up for how bad reality is. Nothing can.

The 21^st century is probably going to be even worse. The 21st century has been the most horrible few years I've seen (maybe news is making all more aware of how bad things are).

I agree with you. I believe we're headed for an apocalypse in the very near future -- it's why I refuse to just stand their and complain. People who complain should be prepared to at least ATTEMPT to do something about it. So, what are you doing other than crying and pouting?

I don't have any answers other than to focus on the relationships I have with my family and my immediate network. And when the people around me insist on going dark, I have my personal world view, my reality, which I make real through my actions. When people inquire about how I stay positive I'm happy to share. Here's that link again to how I think the world will end -- http://www.briannorris.com/dontsuck.html

Obviously you've never experienced any kind of real poverty in your life. (Judging by your position). True, people abuse welfare all the time. Lots of single mothers, the disabled and helpless elderly also use it as well. They need it badly, no matter how many people abuse the system. If you gonna have a pure capitalist society then you must have a support system.

I have been poor and broke several times (so please stop assuming) because I refuse to conform. If I could just do what I was supposed to do, I'd probably be much better off financially. But you won't hear me cry about it. I try to find ways to monetize my skills. Kind of like when musicians who write or sing jingles for corporate America and support capitalism. What matters most in those moments is feeding your family and protecting them.

Speaking of capitalism, what's the alternative?

The foundation of capitalism is taking advantage of those who can't help themselves/don't have a choice. Sure we could get rid of welfare, but the poor would probably riot and kill ALOT of rich people and gov. officials. (i can only hope)

Some poor people are poor because the skills they have are increasingly irrelevant in the world we live. What they need is access to training so they can escape hourly positions. And training on how to save, invest and how to stop pointing fingers at other people.

People who point fingers are right to do so. Not all the time, but a lot of the time.

Why? Lots of people, poor, middle class, even people with seemingly big incomes have a hard time getting ahead or staying out of massive debt.

It's also hard to feel sorry for people who complain how they have no money while smoking through a pack of $5 cigarettes or standing in the casino wasting their money on the jackpot that they have little if no chance of winning.

Even worse are people, rich and poor, who expect someone to take care of them or that welfare is their god-given right. So let's see, let's have some more babies so we can get a bigger check from the government! Genius.

As far as "poor" people not having relevant skills, this is very true. i am sure they would love to hop in their BMW and drive to their weekend classes @ Harvard but somehow I don't see that happening. PEOPLE SIMPLY CANT AFFORD IT! Even if you get student loans you will graduate with outrageous debt. Do you seriously think that starting off your career with 40,000 in debit is a good idea? I don't.

Since when does education require BMWs and Harvard? Are really that stupid? I went to community college. My brother got his GED (and runs a very successful business). My other brother is willing to take on $500,000 in student loans because he wants to be a doctor.

Everyone takes a different path. It doesn't take Harvard to be successful. I'm suggesting that local governments underwrite the cost of sending people to technical schools, adult education courses, online courses, whatever they can to teach skills to under-skilled people.

A big part of the problem is that there will always be leeches, lazy people and poor people who are too comfortable to try anything other than succeed at a $5 an hour job.

The post-high school educational system in America is truly the biggest load of horse shit ever to be put upon the youth of this country. It is BEYOND over priced and is all pointless in the end anyway. The only thing most people learn @ college is how to do a keg stand.

Unless you're majoring in something technical like chemistry, medicine, etc... Then its all meaningless babble coming from professors that are living fossils BEYOND out of touch with today's job market. Most professors today can barely check email let alone teach anything to a young person. It's a joke.

You're right. I write about the problem with subject matter experts on my site (http://www.briannorris.com/articles/taketheexpert.html). Many Professors have a hard time with meaningful answers and teaching young adults. Still, it's every student's personal responsibility to figure out how to pass the class.

All people, especially young people, are taken advantage of economically in America. This is indisputable.

Young people have choices too. Start your own business if you can't deal with the injustices in Corporate America. Move to another country. Again you're complaining but I don't see any suggestions from you on how you'd improve things if you could. You know how I feel about the underbelly of marketing....

from "What is Marketing?" http://www.briannorris.com/whatismarketing.html:

"If you want to cause a marketing machine to implode, stop the cash flow. Get by without it. Under consume. Resist the urge to buy something else or trade-up. Return your purchase for a refund within 30 days. Find a new distributor. Share your single purchase with thousands of other people for free so they don't have to buy it. Cut your credit cards and frequent buyer cards in half. Make your own open-source version. Create your own currency. Don't lease it. Don't rent it. Don't recommend it. Don't renew your contract or subscription. Don't contribute to the cause. Don't obey.

This kind of implosion takes the combined, sustained efforts of dozens, hundreds or perhaps thousands of like-minded people. You'll have to create your own marketing machine. Kind of ironic."

So someone is born with money. And that affects you how?

Other people with money DO affect me. They are the ones using us all so they stay rich. It's all about supply and demand. Markets will sell goods at the price people will pay for them. Inevitably the rich will set prices for things, leaving the poor to try to afford it. Take a college education for instance. If the rich will pay 50,000 for it, the university will charge everyone that price - plain and simple.

Everyone has their blessings and curses -- How do you know that financial wealth solves everything? Have you ever heard of the cycle of poverty? People come into and out of money all the time.

Financial wealth solves a lot. And it puts you in a position of having REAL control over the things that matter day to day. No money = no choices = no security = no happiness. It's as simple as that and you can't hide from it. Of course you always need emotional wealth, no matter how much money you have.

We've already established that life is not fair or equitable or just. You're the one who keeps hoping or suggesting it should be otherwise.

I am sure you don't care but here is my maxim(s) for life:

"Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest."  --Denis Diderot, French philosopher, author, and encyclopedist (1713-1784)

I like this quote – But do you honestly believe that civilizations could continue without leaders or religion? You and I both know that too many people like to be told what to do. And that in the absence of leadership is anarchy (as seen with Hurricane Katrina and what happened in Iraq when Hussein was removed from power). In a state of anarchy, how would you make a living?

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true. There is no devil and no hell. Thy soul will be dead even sooner than thy body: fear therefore nothing any more." -- Friedrich Nietzsche, German philologist and philosopher (1844-1900)

“Faith means being humble to accept that we don't have all the answers because we don't know all the questions. I'm willing to bet your answers will change over the next 10 years, as will mine. Your thoughts create your own Hell. That's punishment enough. Perpetual misery kills thy soul prematurely; It's why the walking dead are so common.” – Brian Norris

"The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one." -- George Bernard Shaw, Irish-born English playwright (1856-1950)

“The fact that an angry person groans about what's wrong with the world and does nothing physical to change it makes him no better than the optimist who refuses to take off his rose-colored glasses. Both are guilty of ignorance, but the angry person is guilty of hypocrisy too.” -- Brian Norris (1972 - Present)

Brian Norris, America's Positivity Guru, works with decision makers and influencers to stay positive so that they can solve problems, lead with passion and get results instead of excuses. He may be reached by emailing info@briannorris.com or by calling 414-899-1905.

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