The
Other Woman in My Life
(confessions of a workaholic)
By Brian Norris ©2001
I have a confession to make.
I'm having an affair with another woman. Everyday she caresses me and holds me, whispering passionate words of love in my ears. She praises everything I do, and smiles in delight as I brush my fingers across her firm, sexy body.
In her eyes, I can do no wrong. In fact, we rarely argue. And at and the end of the day, she begs me not to leave. Knowing my weakness, she silently yearns for just a few more moments of ecstasy, and tempts me to book one more client, open one more document or make one more change to an already perfect logo. Even as I finally manage to respond to a final email, shut off the monitor and step away from my desk, my business smiles -- knowing that tomorrow, I'll return for more…
For many years, my soul mate has had to compete with my business. In fact,
for the duration of our relationship, my stock answer has been, "Honey,
I have to work." Or "Sweetheart, can't you see that I'm doing this
for us?" The reality, though, is I want to work. Truthfully,
my business is for me. I love standing before audiences, sharing
my insights and teaching them business strategies. I adore marketing and
positioning products and services for success. I treasure designing and
publishing newsletters, books and other marketing pieces for my clients.
Even if I was paid nothing or I had 90 million dollars in the bank, I
would continue to do what I do.
I know I'm not alone. You, in fact, may be just like me. You may also know, that the addiction to our professional careers has the power to destroy every other part of our lives. In fact, how much irrevocable damage have we already done to our relationships with the Creator, our children, our lovers and our mothers and fathers? How long can we expect the other components in our personal lives to wait before they get fed up, pack-up and simply move on?
From one workaholic to another, here are my top suggestions for overcoming your addiction:
Plan your day to the minute- Recently, I asked Zig Ziglar, one of the busiest people in the speaking business, how he managed to find time to be with his loved ones. His strategy was simple. Virtually every minute of everyday is planned. Zig knows where he will be in one hour, where he was one month ago and where he will be in one year at exactly 2 o'clock in the afternoon. In my office, I now have a large one year calendar. With three different color erasable markers, I code my activities. Red for time with the girlfriend, Blue for Brian Norris LLC and Green for everything else.
I know, at a glance, how my time is appropriated. If something arises unexpectedly (rescheduled football practice, Dr. appointments, alien abductions, etc.) we take the red marker and mark the wall calendar to see it. Does this take away from the spontaneity of the relationship? Sometimes. But at least I know my non-business responsibilities will not suffer.
Get out of the house!- Imagine a poltergeist-like voice ordering you out of the house and heed that warning frequently. If you work from your home like I do, all you can do to stop working on the computer is to get dressed, grab your keys and significant other and drive as far away as possible. Even if your escapade leads you to the nearest Barnes and Nobles (my favorite hangout), order some Frappucino®, sit down on a soft reading chair and enjoy being with your spouse. Always take the time to engage in conversation. Too often, we become so accustomed to silence that we lose our ability to inquire about the other person's day. At the minimum take a walk together. Our lovers deserve more than just a few brief comments at bedtime.
Fine yourself- Face it, there is always something you can work on. To develop the discipline to lead a more humane existence, fine yourself five dollars every time you start thinking about your business during time reserved for your friends and family. All proceeds must be used for family outings, gifts or an intimate weekend retreat with your loved one.
It isn't easy. Chances are there will always be another women in my life. But nothing can ever replace the warm affection of a living, loving human being. After all, what good is being rich if you have no one to share it with?