Becoming Who We're Meant to Be
A more personal look at the life of Brian Norris
"Some people spend their entire lives searching for their purpose."
But not me. Early on, life gave me enough hints to know what I was meant to do. I spent most of my childhood as the shy, stuttering, geeky tall boy with no friends who got laughed at, and beat up.
The name calling was constant too. Big Bird. Jolly Green Giant. Too Tall Jones. Brawny. I just tried to ignore everyone and would ask the Creator to make me shorter.
My people skills were so bad that my mom bought me a copy of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie and made me read it while I was in the 3rd grade. The book taught me to get along superbly with people ... just not people my own age!
By the 5th grade, I was 5'11; the tallest kid in school, and taller than most of my teachers.
I was confused too. My mom, told me to turn the other cheek. My Dad told me to beat the crap out of anyone who laid a hand on me.
By the 5th grade, I stopped listening to Mom.
It was also in the 5th grade that I first tasted the rush of speaking before people. Because of my height, I got the role of Abe Lincoln in the Patriotic play. I still remember the lines:
"With malice towards none and charity for all. With firmness in the right as God has given us to see the right. Let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds. To care for him who shall have borne the battle."
Looking back I am so thankful to play that part. Here was a man who became president, who was tall, disliked by many, yet willing to do whatever it took to fulfill his mission as a leader, visionary and emancipator. It was during that year when I first woke up to the fact that I mattered too. I began to dream about making a difference.
By the time I entered the 9th grade, I had developed a condition called Scoliosis, which is a severe curvature of the spine. Caused partially by hereditary factors (As a teenager, my mom spent three painful years wearing a brace, doing her school work on the floor) and my accelerated growth, I had to undergo a special operation on my spine to remove the curvature.
A special rod and a bone graft would be fused to my spine to make the correction permanent. The 13-hour surgery brought me to the edge of death and back. But the surgery worked. I went into the hospital 6'1 and would come out 6'3 and a half.
However, complications turned what was supposed to be a two-week hospital stay into 32-days. Because of unexpected complications, I went from 202 pounds to 165 pounds. Just before I was to have a second surgery to open up my intestines, I was healed. I experienced firsthand the power of faith and prayer.
I came out a totally different person. No longer timid. No longer looking for scapegoats. Instead, eager to live life to its fullest and to celebrate my uniqueness.
Looking back, I realize that it wasn't the surgery that initially sparked the transformation in my attitude and behavior. It wasn't even the miracle that kept me from having to endure a second surgery.
What impacted me most was what happened on the day before the surgery.
My father and I are in the hospital admitting room sitting across from each other. He's looking at me intently, and nodding his head in silent support. At that time, he and I have a relationship like a general has with a soldier. It was always "Yes sir. No sir. Good morning sir. Coming right away sir", and I was expected to show this respect always.
Don't get me wrong. I knew Dad loved me because he showed it in his actions. He, along with Mom would work 60, 70, 80 hours a week to make sure there was always food on the table for me and my three younger brothers, and a roof over our heads. So his sternness in the admitting room was nothing new.
Now, Dad is looking at me with his strong eyes and powerful, reassuring nod. Arms crossed, jaw clenched, nerves of steel.
"You can do this son. You'll be just fine" Dad says in his deep baritone voice
"Yes sir. I won't let you down, sir." I reply
Suddenly, Dad gets up and begins to walk towards me. I stand up too, not knowing what to expect. He gets closer and I meet him in the center of the room. He puts his arms out to me and embraces me. I feel him begin to shake and he whispers in my ear, "Brian, I love you."
The tears are rolling down his face and onto mine. I am crying too. "I love you too Dad." We hold each other. That moment changes my life forever. For in the awesome moment, I am shown what it means to communicate with passion. My father, the man whom I respect and adore — is willing to step outside his comfort zone and be the leader and human being I need him to be.
In that moment, Dad became a shining example of courage and passion in action. His authenticity and humanity touched me. His realization that it was better to say I love you while he could versus the possibility of saying it over a coffin was a lesson I'll never forget. That courage gave me permission to be me and to live every moment with passion and positivity.
It also set into motion the little decisions that would ultimately lead me to where I am today.
When I got back to school (after three months of home-schooling and rehabilitation), I immediately took advantage of the 2nd chance I had been given and the lessons I had learned. I started making friends, asking girls out, taking the initiative.
I began consuming books and tapes on personal development. I immersed myself in my strengths — writing. I signed up for classes to further help me to develop confidence and self-esteem — drama, chorus, public speaking, debate. As is still true to this day, nothing compared to being on stage or standing at the front of the room sharing my ideas and convictions. I loved making people smile.
Fast forward to my college years.
By then, I had learned that being 6'4 with blue eyes and salt and pepper hair was a very good thing! I attended a local community college to earn a degree in journalism. When I found out how little most journalists earn, I switched my degree to Radio/Television. When I learned about the harsh realities of that industry, I switched to a degree in Mass Communications.
At 18-years old I was living on my own and working full-time to support my myself and my fledgling business. So unlike many, I was on the six-year plan (college algebra and I didn't get along).
It took me awhile to get focused too.
In fact, I remember at one point going to the college career assessment office to try to figure out what I was really supposed to be when I grew up. I powered up the computer (Do you remember life before the GUI interface?) and started to take an on-screen test that would guide me in the right direction.
After 45 minutes of honestly answering the questions, the moment of truth arrived. Out of the thousands of potential careers, only one option flashed on that black screen...
Clergy.
"This has got to be a joke," I reasoned. Although I grew up in a church background, I had too many unanswered questions (and arguments with my pastor) about what God requires of us, how he communicates to us and the legalism and dogma that seems to suffocate many churches and their congregations. I also feared that I could never live up to the standards required to "have the right" to speak from the pulpit.
With these reservations in mind, I went back to the beginning of the career assessment and changed my answers. Still, the final response kept coming back the same. Clergy ... Clergy ... Clergy.
Despite giving the clergy a serious consideration, I decided against it. Instead, I chose a vocation with a few striking parallels to religion — marketing! You've got branding, redemption, word-of-mouth, copy writing. It seemed like a smart alternative. And before I even received my degree, I started working as a freelance copywriter and marketing strategist.
I hit a small problem.
I had no clue that before you start a business you're supposed to have money in the bank. So along the way, to earn a living, I worked part-time as a waiter, got my real estate license, went into restaurant management, worked as a cold-caller and script writer for a sleazy (now defunct) stock brokerage firm. I even almost ran for city commissioner in Hollywood, but was gently talked out of it.
Every time I pursued something strictly for the money, for the glory or for the security of a steady paycheck, I ended being miserable. There is no such thing a "quick buck" — Everything we do or don't has consequences (positive and negative).
Meanwhile, my business expanded into graphic and web design when people began asking me if I provided those services. You get good real fast when paying your light bill depends on it. My repertoire of tools expanded too. Corel, Microsoft Office, Quark Express, Adobe Photoshop, Dreamweaver.
I became known for ability to help clients look great in print and on the web, and getting them more business. Direct response, media releases, sales scripts, positioning, newsletters, logo design and stationery, print ads, book and album covers, editing.
Slowly, though, I began moving towards the next big transition. Speaking and training. I joined Toastmasters International (which I highly recommend for everyone). Then I started giving free speeches at the local civic organizations. Meanwhile, I began studying the business of speaking, and learned what I could from people who were earning a full-time living in the speaking and training profession.
I remember the first time I got paid $1,000 to speak for an hour. It was the perfect combination. Doing what you love most. Sharing your expertise with others so they can improve their personal lives and professional careers. And getting paid to do it!!!!
Fast forward to the present.
It's ironic how life works out. If you want to give God or The Flying Spaghetti Monster a hearty laugh, tell them what you are going to do with your life. Turns out that the college computer's test results from years earlier telling me to pursue a career as a clergyman was prophetic. I am a minister of sorts, (hint: we all have a ministry), just without the religious pretense.
With this awareness, I have embraced my true vocation (I still don't know what to call someone who motivates others, trains, entertains, but is grounded enough to know that life can be painful even for the happiest, most positive amongst us).
My work has me traveling around the United States, Canada, and wherever else I'm needed, helping audiences and clients to sell more, lead better and stay positive. My book, Escape Life Sucks Syndrome, is perfect for anyone currently have a rough time. I create environments where ideas and innovation, trust and communication, respect and responsibility can thrive.
My work has helped thousands of men and women. My presentations have prepared audiences to fend off the "walking dead" — people who having stopped living and prefer to wallow in misery, complacency, hypocrisy, and judgmentalism.
I even help the "walking dead" to live again too by teaching them to manage their fears and resistance to change. With my growing tool kit of approaches and "stick removers", I show even the most hardened cynic that life is exactly what you want it to be; that it doesn't have to be so cankerous and empty. If you insist on being miserable then kindly shut your mouth and leave the rest of us alone!
As a speaker and author I can illuminate and testify to a powerful truth:
You and I are either born with or have access to the tools needed to experience the life we desire. Through free will, training, creativity, practical faith and physical action, we can move any mountain and create any outcome we desire.
I've learned through trial and error that while life is hardly "fair", everything happens to prepare us for the next hardship or change that will come our way. Still, something positive can be glimmered from every experience.
Regardless of your current job, you impact others by doing the best you can with what you have, and by finding a reason to be passionate about what you do.
Even if it is not the perfect job, be thankful! You are being paid to learn new skills and acquire the experiences that will empower you to take advantage of the moment when that next "perfect job" appears.
Ask yourself, what can I learn today? Learning is the key to discovering and embracing your purpose. And once you know what your purpose is, you're virtually unstoppable.
Many of us, in our pursuit of financial glory and world recognition, lose sight of what it means to really live. The joy of being with our friends and loved ones. The freedom to take risks, fail and try again. The experiences that make our emotions rage. The quest for soul-to-soul connections.
Recently, I penned the Positively Passionate Creed. The Positively Passionate Creed summarizes my world-view and philosophy. It's what I seek to model for others and share through my work and daily interactions. I've included it below, and hope that you'll find it inspiring and useful in your own life.
As you browse through this site, I encourage you keep these principles in mind.
If you have any questions, would like to schedule an interview or would like to know more about how to bring me into your organization, please call 414-899-1905 or email me at info@briannorris.com.
Click here for a more "formal" Training Manager resume (PDF)
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