How to Have Great Relationships
The Secrets to Igniting Passion at Work and at Home Revealed - By Brian Norris ©2001

  Sometimes maintaining your passion for work and relationships seems impossible. I know how you feel, because I've been there....

  The place where you work has lost its appeal. Perhaps, you're feeling that what you do at work is meaningless, and that no one would even notice if you didn't show up for work (or that you're easily replaceable). Or, what once seemed like a great company now is just another job that pays the bills. Even worse, your job provides a good reason to NOT have to go home -- where things are even more tedious.

  On the homefront, you look at your significant other silently trying to remember what it felt like to be the center of their world and how you could spend hours gazing into their eyes without uttering a word.

AND NOW...

  You're lucky if you can get from the front door to the shower without a confrontation. Money issues, quality time issues, quality of life issues dominate every conversation.

STOP!

  Before you throw your hands up and chalk your miserable existence up to bad karma or some evil in-laws ill-will, know that there are ways to put the passion back into your personal and professional life.

  No, there's no magic pill or single love letter that will whisk your problems away. Instead, being passionate is a lot like muscle-building; you have to nurture your body and be willing to work certain muscles that may have become dormant.

  Here are five keys to successful relationships at work and home:

• financial mastery
• effective time management skills
• commitment
• discipline and
• excellent communication skills

  Begin to master these qualities and your passion will soar again at work AND at home. Start with your job -- do you work to live or live to work (hopefully, you work to live)? Do you enjoy what you do so much that you don't consider it work?

  As a keynote speaker, success coach and facilitator, I enjoy what I do. As much as I travel and as many nights I spend alone in hotel rooms, I am still passionate about my career. Why? Because the work I do gives me meaning and a sense of purpose. To travel the world, speak to companies and help people to solve their own problems is a blessing and awesome opportunity.

  In fact, answer this: Would you do what you do now for a living, even if you didn't get paid for it?

  You probably feel like you don't get paid for the grief you endure at work as it is, don't you? In a perfect world, money wouldn't be a factor in choosing our occupations. Still, there are lots of ways to work 60 hours, and even more ways to make money.

Why not pursue a job you'd actually enjoy if money weren't involved?!

  If you MUST stay where you are, then find a dozen reasons to be passionate about what you do. For example, whose lives do you enrich by your presence? What individuals can your help in some capacity? Each of us is where we are to be a beacon of light for someone else.

  Who benefits when you take the time to reach out to a colleague or employee and ask them "Hey, how are you?"? EVERYONE.

  It's really the same at home too. Lust is a temporary sensation, and love takes work and perseverance. I was frustrated when I first learned this years ago. I thought that once we were in love and happy, then the relationship could go on autopilot.

Enter rude awakening!

  When it comes to your relationship, are you making the time for yourself? There is great power in being a little selfish now and then. On the flip side, are you giving ample time to your loved ones?

  Avoid the too common mistake of bringing your work home with you. Your problems will be right where you left them, why transplant them from work to home? Repeat after me -- I WILL NOT TAKE MY WORK HOME WITH ME. Say it again. Now, say it like you really mean it!

  The excuse of not having enough time is exactly that -- an excuse. Can you watch 10 minutes less television or spend 20 minutes less surfing the Web? That's easily an hour of freed time, and a great start to spending quality time with the people who matter most.

  Being passionate involves being balanced and living life with a set of principles that are unchanging. What happens when you eat too much at the all-you-can-eat buffet? You lose your appetite and feel terrible too. Life works the same way too. If you love work, and all you do is work, soon you come to despise it. Your health begins to falter. If you love your religious faith, and all you do is immerse yourself in it without regard for your family or work, it too begins to leave a bitter taste in your mouth. Moderation and balance are essential.

  Another question, why are in your current relationship or job? Because you want to? Because you have to? Because it's convenient? Because it's comfortable? Be willing to answer this question seriously, honestly.

  Talk your significant other and the people you work with. Engage in a dialogue and get their feedback. You may be surprised with the answers and insights you discover. Although walking away from a relationship (personal or professional) is never the first answer, sometimes people are together for all the wrong reasons.

  Give yourself permission to be happy in your work and at home. If that means changing what you do or who you're with, then so be it. Passion is a state of mind. Make up your mind and expose yourself to the tools and information that will make that passion permanent.

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